Seven Days
Newcastle Herald
Thursday October 2, 2008
Thursdee,
September 25Storm fans furious at the guiltyverdict handed down to CameronSmith go on a rampage downFlinders St, smashing windows,looting shops and setting fi re totrams.Just kidding . . .Fridee,September 26The Sharks fail to fi re a shot as theStorm cruise to a 28-0 win and intotheir third consecutive grand fi nal.But the lack of action on the fi eldis more than made up for by Stormcoach Craig Bellamy, who turns thepost-match press conference intoa 13-minute rave against the press,the NRL, the judiciary, bookmakers,the press, the NRL, the judiciary,bookmakers, and the press, theNRL, the judiciary and bookmakersover a perceived anti-Melbourneconspiracy behind the suspension ofCameron Smith for his grapple tackleon Sam Thaiday.In a nutshell, Bellamy says Smithwas subjected to trial by the media,whose guilty verdict was endorsedby the NRL and passed on tobookmakers framing a market on theoutcome of the judiciary hearing. The other thing that was verysmelly about the whole lot was whenI saw in the paper on Wednesdaymorning that there was a bettingmarket $1.18 hes going to befound guilty, $4.25 hell be foundinnocent. Thats a fair spread in atwo-horse race. Bookmakers andbetting agencies, they dont guess,theyve got good information. Takethat as you may. As soon as I saw thaton Wednesday morning . . . he wasthousands. Apart from possibly beingdefamatory, this shows an ignoranceof how a betting market works orbookmakers, for that matter. Justbecause there are only two horses ina race doesnt make it a more or lesseven-money bet, as Bellamy suggests,especially when one of the horsesis a Bronco in danger of getting hishead ripped off. And while bookiesmay frame the market, it is weightof money from punters that governshow it fl uctuates. Honestly, you onlyhad to look at the footage. To suggestotherwise is an insult to everybodysintelligence.I do, however, agree with Bellamythat soliciting the opinions of spinalexperts was a bit over the top. Youdont have to be a spinal expert tosee that Thaiday is lucky not to havecome out of this in a wheelchair.I have heard a whisper that theStorm have already developed anew tackle and may unveil it in thegrand final. Its called the chickenneck . . .Satdee,September 27I cant get the image of Craig Bellamyout of my head . . . snarling andspitting, his head lolling about likesomething out of The Exorcist. Heis dead-set rattled. State of Origin,where he went from the best coachin the universe after game one togetting his pants pulled down by MalMeninga in games two and three, puta chink in his aura of invincibility,and he has become increasinglyincoherent ever since.He needs a break. After the grandfinal, he needs to go some placewhere they couldnt give a ratsarse about him, rugby league, orthe Storm. Some place that he canget away from it all and chill out.Somewhere like . . . Melbourne!Speaking of which, after the mediastorm they have endured over thepast few days, the Melbourne playersmust be looking forward to waking upin their own beds, reading their ownpapers and playing fi nd the leaguestory in amongst the thousands ofpages devoted to the AFL grand final.As Oscar Wilde said, the only thingworse than being talked about is notbeing talked about.Meanwhile, up in Sydney,NRL boss David Gallop reactsto Bellamy and sidekick BrianWaldrons comments about lack ofleadership in the game by slappinga $50,000 fi ne on the Storm for their unprecedented premeditated attackon the NRL and its judiciary system .I can almost hear Gallop asking: How do you like them grapples? Meanwhile, the betting agencyinvolved in the Cameron Smithjudiciary verdict reveals that theylost on this one. Obviously somepeople thought the $1.16 was betterthan bank interest, and certainlya safer bet than the stock market.Too short for me, although I canguarantee that if I could have got the$1.90 about the guilty verdict thatBellamy was tossing up, I wouldnt besitting here writing this column.Later, Manly make it a repeat oflast years grand fi nal by beating theWarriors 32-6. Both the match andthe post-match press conference passwithout incident.Sundee,September 28A survey by the Sun-Herald revealsthat the majority of playerspolled would play in a booze-freecompetition. Just though 21 ofthe 40 players surveyed. So doesthis mean that basically half of theplayers have seen that alcohol is theroot of all evil in the game, or thathalf of them are still living in thedark ages? I guess that depends onwhether you are a glass half-empty orglass half-full kind of person.Later, the Prime Ministers XIIIbeat Papua New Guinea 54-30 in awilling contest before a boisterouscrowd of 5000 at Lloyd Robson Oval.It strikes me that if the NRL was fairdinkum about growing the game theywould relocate the Storm to PortMoresby.Mundee,September 29Storm front-rower Brett White is freeto play in the grand fi nal after beingcleared of elbowing Sharks prop BenRoss. I have to commend the NRLmatch review committee for theircompassion here. White clearly hasa case to answer and would mostprobably have been found guilty,but that would have tipped CraigBellamy over the edge. I dont thinkany of us want to see that.White then takes the extraordinarystep of denying claims that a case ofRoss Rival Virus has contributed tothe on-fi eld fi reworks between thepair this season. White and Rosswere once Dragons teammates andwere rumoured to have fallen outover a female. White copped a fourweekban for punching Ross earlierthis season. Theres been a lot of rumoursgoing around about off-fi eldincidents going on with Ben Ross,and I just want to clear that up, White says. Weve never livedtogether, weve never had a run-inoff the field, theres never been anydrama. I want to squash that herenow. Maybe thats why Ross alwayslooks so confused every time Whitebelts him. Meanwhile, referee TonyArcher is handed the whistle forthe grand fi nal. My wish for Archeris that he does not, under anycircumstances, make a decision.That he just remembers what it wasthat got him here. Weve all sufferedthrough too many interminablereplays in too many games to changethings now. Refer everything to thevideo ref, Tony. And if the urge doescome over you to act unilaterally,stop and consider this: do you reallywant to risk stuffi ng it up all byyourself? No. Draw the square, Tony.Now is not the time for heroes.Chewsdee,September 30I read with interest a wire copyreport on Jacksonville Jaguarsoffensive tackle Richard Collier, whowas shot this month, is paralysedbelow the waist and has just hadhis left leg amputated. Collier is thethird NFL player shot in the past 18months.The other two died, one in abotched burglary and the otherwhen his rented limousine wassprayed with bullets after leaving aNew Years party at a club.So here, where we play thegreatest game of all, we can bethankful for small mercies. In aseason that began with Eels playerJarryd Hayne being shot at inKings Cross and has copped oneoff-fi eld hit after another in themost tumultuous year in the games100-year history, at least no one hasbeen killed.Wensdee,October 1And so its come to this . . . agrand fi nal between the team thateveryone hates and the team thatnobody cares about. Tantalisingprospect. Sadly, there can only beone loser. Unlike the rest of you, Ihave to rise above my ambivalenceand make a selection. So here it is:Im tipping . . . Manly. Why?Well, for all their rorting, rapingand pillaging of the game, at leastManly were spawned in the sameprimordial slime that the rest of uscrawled out of. Ill take that any dayover some artifi cially inseminated,genetically modifi ed, just-add-moneyclub that exists in a hermeticallysealed bubble on leaguesequivalent of the moon.So, go Manly.Whos with me here?Go Manly.LOUDER!GO MANLYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!There, that wasnt so bad, was it?Feel free to trot off and have ashower if you like.(Actually, I wrote that in thisspace this time last year, but nothingsreally changed. So play on! Until nextyear . . .)I CAN ALMOST HEAR GALLOP ASKING: HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM GRAPPLES?
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